Happy Birthday Mr. James

I was one of those girls at school that had a secret crush on her school teacher. His name was Mr. James and whilst I didn't pretend to marry him, he was the 'funny' teacher, the clown. And I liked him. I was drawn to him.

At the end of Year 2, on my last day of school, I was presented with my little piece of paper to take home to mum. This little piece of paper made my dreams come true. He would be my Year 3 teacher.

Mr. James was a very big influence on me and I was blessed enough to have him the following year. We learnt how to make things out of clay, and we created our own bowls/pencil holders, had them put through the kiln and then painted. And I won the bowl that Mr. James made.

And I still have it.

The end of Year 4 was the end of Mr. James position at my school. And I have no idea where he went... until I was in Year 7, when he hand wrote a letter (remember those?) and posted it to me at school.

I had sung a solo performance the week prior at The Festival Centre here in Adelaide. It was part of "The Festival of Music' - A collection of schools coming together for an end of year performance. On 'my' night, he was there. And he heard me. And he was moved enough to write to me.

He was proud. Maybe even shocked. But he wanted me to know how happy he was to see me, and hear me... and I was on Cloud 9 from the mere thought of him taking the time to acknowledge me.

I wanted to write back to him and at least say 'Thank You', but by that time I was in Year 8. And it was so uncool to write to your Primary School teacher, let alone one from Year 4!

But every year, on the 3rd July I think of him. Because it's his birthday. I have no idea how I have remembered, or why I have remembered, but I have. And I hope he's out there enjoying his day and still making an impact on children's lives.

He's one of those rare teachers. And I am SO glad that I am able to say that I was one of his students.

Happy Birthday Mr. James.

Today is going to be a GREAT Day

I want you to picture me with a big cheesy grin. Because as I type this, that's exactly what I have.

I haven't won the lotto and I haven't saved anyone's life, but today I woke up knowing today would be amazing. There was something in me that felt change was coming. I felt that perhaps all the waiting would come to an end.

And whilst we are still waiting, a new door has opened. A new possibility.

I have spoken earlier about how my husband has applied for a residential position over in Western Australia. We are in South Australia and thus he would be relocating without the kids and I. This particular position was part of a Trade Upgrade Program which could take up to 2-years to complete.

We are still waiting to hear on whether he has progressed with his application, which is a tad frustrating seeing as the position starts on July 1st (2-weeks away!).

The whole time I have been silently praying that he doesn't get the job. My heart has been quietly breaking, my tears have been privately shed, and whilst I want him to get the job, I don't want him to have to live somewhere else.

I have been praying that something else comes up in the meantime.

Today it did. Hubby received a phone call for a job interview with another company.

And not only that, but hubby has also received notification from the above Trade Upgrade People that the program has been condensed into 15-weeks. 4-months from 2-years. I can deal with that!

I can deal with 4-months. He'd be home by Christmas. In a job he loves and a trade he was born to work.

We are winning twice before 10:00am.

And thus, today is going to be a GREAT day!

F-I-G-H-T

This is one of those rare moments where I don't have words. And in these moments I turn to music.

Music soothes me. It speaks to me like nothing else. And I go to a place that allows me to think, grieve and gain strength.

In this moment, this song speaks to me. Because in this moment there is someone in my life that needs to listen. And in this moment she can't.

She's fighting. Fighting for her life, fighting for her children's lives.

And that's the biggest fight of them all.

CALLING ALL ANGELS: By Train

I need a sign to let me know you're here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you feel the world shake from the words that are said

[Chorus:]
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels

I won't give up if you dont give up

I won't give up if you dont give up

I won't give up if you dont give up

I won't give up if you dont give up


I need a sign to let me know you're here
'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels

I won't give up if you dont give up

I won't give up if you dont give up

I won't give up if you dont give up

I won't give up if you dont give up


When children have to play inside so they don't disappear
And private eyes solve marriage lies cause we don't talk for years
And football teams are kissing Queens
and losing sight of having dreams
In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours

I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels

Learning to say 'Thank You'

I have NO idea how to take a compliment. It's probably one of the only times I am lost for words.

I want to be grateful, yet not come across as if I am up myself. But I struggle to find the right way to voice my gratitude. So I get all awkward, clammy and inferior. And deflated.

I have had a few encounters recently where I've done exactly that. And it doesn't help when the compliments I have received have come from people I'd never expect, for things I never thought I was good at.

It also doesn't help that I am an overthinker, so I always have a million thoughts and a million scenarios going on in my head before I respond. The awkwardness is usually created from the long pause by said overthinking. And thankfully noone hears those thoughts.

It has got me thinking about my own self perception, and the lack of credit I give myself for things I am passionate about, or maybe even good at. I am realising that I am like most mothers/women out there and I underestimate my own self worth.

I was brought up to be humble. To not 'toot my own horn' (which I do as a joke to my friends), or to carry on as if I was anyone special. And whilst I think it is a great way to be brought up (to a certain extent), at the same time I have grown up with very little self esteem as a result.

I am unable to take a compliment, and I am unable to take risks in fear of failure or rejection.
And I plan to change that.

For now, I am simply learning to say 'Thank You' when people are telling me nice things. Because I am grateful, and I am proud. And I love that people think I am doing a good enough job at something to warrant a compliment. Because for the first time in my life, I LOVE what I am doing.

I have found my calling.
And if that makes people happy, then I know that I am onto something amazing.

So to all my lovely friends, and to all those great people out there.... Thank You.

*giggles and runs away*