I am thankful for their age gap...

I need to put it out there:
No matter the age gap, having more than one child is a challenge. It's a juggle.

I have spoken before about my desire to have 3 children, a desire that was founded purely on day dreams: the kids would be close in age, they wouldn't fight, and I doubt they had snotty noses. Alas, real life has proven day dreams have very little sense of reality.

I have a 5.5 year age gap between my two children. My only two children. And for me it's bliss.

I really couldn't have been one of those parents that juggle two under two/three under three. It is just not in me to have that much patience, and survive on that little sleep. And so, I look at my two boys and I think I have it pretty darn good right about now.

After dropping Ryder off at day care this morning, I had Logan talk to me from the back seat:

"Mum, before we had Ryder, I didn't have anyone to play with at our house"

And he continued to tell me how he likes having 'someone else' to play with, other than a grown up. And how much he loves just having a younger brother. Because having a younger brother makes him feel like the house is more about fun, than 'boring grown up stuff' (yep, he said that!).

They're both at a really great age where they play together, read together, and fight together... luckily the fighting (for now) is just of the playing kind. And I've now gone from being completely nervous about my boys being disconnected from each other with their age gap, to being excited about the bond they'll share together as they grow older.

Logan is an AMAZING big brother - he's a helper and a nurturer at heart. He wants to take the dirty nappies to the 'outside bin' because he wants to contribute. And he watches everything Ryder does to make sure he's not in danger. He melts my heart. And Ryder? He just wants to BE his older brother:


When Logan's at school, he'll find random things of Logans and wear/use them. Like his hat and books. He will go to Logan's room and call out his name as if he's lost, wave to him when he goes to school, and tackle him to the ground at night when they're finally home together.

I am thankful for their age gap. It means I can spread myself between them both easier (than what I could if the gap was smaller), and they both need different 'input' from us as parents. I feel like I am juggling the whole 'two child' role far better than I would if it were closer, and it suits me.

I like to think it suits us all as a family...

(and in a sleep deprived state I am right now, thanks to Ryder's night terrors and knack for 4am wake-ups, I am even MORE thankful for their age gap. Two sets of this would not go down very well right now!)





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My Life Mantra

2012 was the year that I took on a different approach to thinking - it wasn't anything overly drastic, and there wasn't a particular event that took place that made me decide this, but I became a 'fan' of positive thinking. It made me happy, and it filled me with a sense of freshness and positivity.

It is something that has really become a large part of my life now. I love motivational posters, and I thrive on inspiration. And with embracing this love of positive energy, it has altered my outlook on life, and filled it with only positive thoughts. And I am happy.

I had the pleasure of creating my own little home office last year, and I just knew that I had to turn it into a positive zone. I wanted to fill it with things I love (like as many Eiffel Towers as possible!), and also fill it with emotions that inspire and motivate me. I happened to find a brilliant, oversized canvas online that fit my office perfectly - and on it was a 'Life Mantra' that I now read everyday and use this to fuel positive thinking and my wish to 'start every day in neutral':

"You only have ONE life.
Dream more. Complain less. Listen more.
Talk less. Love more. Argue less. Hope more.
Fear less. Relax more. Work less. Live more.
DREAM BIG
You can't recover the moment after it's missed.
The word after it's said and the time after it's wasted.
LIVE FOR THE MOMENT.
Love the little things in life
as one day they will be the big things.
Laugh your heart out.
Dance in the rain.
Cherish the moment.
Ignore the pain.
Live, Life, LOVE.
Forgive and forget.
Do what you love and don't regret.
Be crazy and take a risk.
It's up to you to make it happen.
Life is short. Do what you love. Love what you do.
Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die tomorrow."
Do you have motivational/inspirational quotes that you love? I'd love to hear them!

That moment you say you're kinda not having anymore children...

Ryder fell asleep with a 'Little People' car in his mouth, instead of a dummy.
Super resourceful little man!
I am not sure if it's just me, or if other women out there are similar to me and grew up with a vision of the children she would bare. My vision always involved three beautiful children, the first of which involved two boys followed by a girl.

And here I am, 30 years old with my two boys. And to be honest I think I am 'done'. I think I will take my two beautiful boys like a gambler who is on a great winning streak.
I want to take my winnings and run.

I still get clucky at times, and I know I am still 'young' and can sit on it for a while before we decide, but the more I think about things with a level head, I always come back to the same decision.

What if we went for a third/last baby and he/she is incredibly unwell?
What if one of us lost our jobs and we couldn't provide for our family?
How would we manage living expenses for 3 children vs. 2?

There's no denying that our current situation is stressful. Yes our boys are wonderful, they fill our lives with so much love, but they're also incredibly difficult at times, as are most children. Our youngest has pretty much been screaming for the last 2 days (we love teething, right?), and Logan, whilst he is older and more independent, has his own set of issues that leave us thankful for a large age gap. A large age gap we would have to factor in if we were to have any more children... and I don't think I want that for my children.

And before y'all ask about the 'other' person in the relationship, my husband is echoing every single fear as I am. He is besotted with what we have, and whilst it would be 'nice' to have another, agrees that we are very lucky to have two healthy boys in our home.

Tempting fate with a third scares the both of us.

I suppose right now, there's very little pressure on us, from either of us. We've had a child together already, so the urgency to have a baby together isn't there. We're 'just' starting to get some of our independence back, with me returning to work and having a bit of an income to bring to the finances.

But I must admit, I still find myself at times going back to the vision of my three children and feeling almost apologetic towards that imaginary daughter, for not bringing her to the world as I had planned. Not that I would have been able to promise that I would have a daughter if we were to have another!

So it leaves me wondering, how have you decided if your family is complete? Or incomplete?
Have you finished baring children and still yearn for another?
Do you have children with a large age gap, and then started more children later down the track?