Ryder fell asleep with a 'Little People' car in his mouth, instead of a dummy.
Super resourceful little man!
I am not sure if it's just me, or if other women out there are similar to me and grew up with a vision of the children she would bare. My vision always involved three beautiful children, the first of which involved two boys followed by a girl.
And here I am, 30 years old with my two boys. And to be honest I think I am 'done'. I think I will take my two beautiful boys like a gambler who is on a great winning streak.
I want to take my winnings and run.
I still get clucky at times, and I know I am still 'young' and can sit on it for a while before we decide, but the more I think about things with a level head, I always come back to the same decision.
What if we went for a third/last baby and he/she is incredibly unwell?
What if one of us lost our jobs and we couldn't provide for our family?
How would we manage living expenses for 3 children vs. 2?
There's no denying that our current situation is stressful. Yes our boys are wonderful, they fill our lives with so much love, but they're also incredibly difficult at times, as are most children. Our youngest has pretty much been screaming for the last 2 days (we love teething, right?), and Logan, whilst he is older and more independent, has his own set of issues that leave us thankful for a large age gap. A large age gap we would have to factor in if we were to have any more children... and I don't think I want that for my children.
And before y'all ask about the 'other' person in the relationship, my husband is echoing every single fear as I am. He is besotted with what we have, and whilst it would be 'nice' to have another, agrees that we are very lucky to have two healthy boys in our home.
Tempting fate with a third scares the both of us.
I suppose right now, there's very little pressure on us, from either of us. We've had a child together already, so the urgency to have a baby together isn't there. We're 'just' starting to get some of our independence back, with me returning to work and having a bit of an income to bring to the finances.
But I must admit, I still find myself at times going back to the vision of my three children and feeling almost apologetic towards that imaginary daughter, for not bringing her to the world as I had planned. Not that I would have been able to promise that I would have a daughter if we were to have another!
So it leaves me wondering, how have you decided if your family is complete? Or incomplete?
Have you finished baring children and still yearn for another?
Do you have children with a large age gap, and then started more children later down the track?
Yes, yes, and yes are my answers to those questions. :) You think you live in a male dominated house? I have 5 boys + a husband. In fact we were given a 'chicken' by a well meaning mother in law which we had until said 'chicken' started crowing at 5am every morning....yes even 'he' was a boy.
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your questions - My eldest 2 were from a former marriage they are now 14 and 12, gorgeous, awesome boys, ok the 14 yr old is quickly becoming an awful teenager type with the sulking and the grunting but hey we all went through it. Mr 12 is one of these annoying people who is good at everything, everyone loves him, he is 'almost' the perfect child/human (he has his moments). My younger three are 4,2 and 1 they are stunning looking boys all have a theme of blond hair, big eyes and just delicious. Mr 4 is quickly following in his older brother's footsteps and is incredibly clever, thoughtful and kind, Mr 2 is a thug there is no other way to put it. He looks like cupid with his curls but his attitude leaves a lot to be desired. But not a day goes by that he doesn't give us a good laugh. Mr 1 is lots of fun and I can see is going to be a very adaptable young man - having to just fit in where he can.
So now with 5 boys can I seriously be thinking I'm not 'done'. It's just a twinge that catches me out every now and then, I was never maternal (yes I know weird when I have 5) at all so its a feeling that is strange to me. I'm with you in that I think I could create another awesome little human, but I have 5 healthy boys! As selfish as it sounds, how far do I want to push my luck? Would I have time to care for a child if it had problems or issues of one kind or another, would it be fair to the others, would they be unable to reach their potential. I think 'God if I had stopped after the 1st 2 I would be in the clear now', they can stay home by themselves, I could be living it up . Is that deep down what I want though?- God no! I love running from school to sport to kindy to playgroup it makes me feel like I have a purpose. I am unorganised and hopeless in the extreme but its just the way I am - and we cope. I am 34 now there is prob time for 1 more - hubby says no, but nonchalantly expects me to fall pregnant every month. I don't know that another one would make much difference in terms of work load - its not as if I have any free time as it is. I guess the question is, is the sense of sadness that I feel when I think my youngest is the last, greater than the sense of 'ok I want control over my life and some free time'....sometimes I think it might be....