Monday, April 29, 2013

Dear Energy: Where have you gone?




It's Monday. It's still morning and I am running off what feels like zero sleep the night before. I feel a little bit Zombie-like and I have a cute little toddler to thank for it.

Our little guy has been having some night terrors of late, but for some reason last night he just didn't want to go to sleep. At all. We resorted to pulling his little fold-out couch into our room and eventually he fell asleep, only to wake up a couple of hours later and scream from 1:00am to 4:00am. His day started at 5:00am.

I took him to day care this morning feeling somewhat guilty that I am leaving them to care for who will be a grizzly and overtired little man. And as I drove to work I was praying for coffee; nice, strong coffee.

The thing is though, lately, I have been tired. Alot. I think the issues with my back (and having to take it easy) has attributed to it, but I am just.... blergh. I feel horrible. Bloated. Tired. I could sleep for a good couple of days, and just cannot be bothered doing much. And who would want to with or weather not being overly inviting lately.

I have no energy at the moment. I feel heavy.

I am looking forward to getting back into my work-outs again, but that's still a while off. I am limited to 'strolls' which don't really do much for me. I miss the buzz that comes with exercising, I miss adrenalin and endorphins. I just miss wanting to do more than get into my warm, comfy PJ's and slippers, and snooze.

I just miss having energy! *yawn*

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Blast from the past: An Open Letter to Gaga

I found this letter within my Facebook 'notes' the other day (before I started blogging). A letter I wrote on the eve of my induction, the day before the journey started to meeting our little man.

That little man is now 20-months. Twenty months. He'll soon be two years old, talking (and talking back)... and then onto kindy and school with his bigger brother.

Feels like I only wrote this last week...

Ps. Ryder was named Gaga whilst in utero, it seemed to fit as I was heavily into Lady Gaga, so Baby Gaga sounded funny at the time :) Until we decided on his actual name... then he became 'Knightrider'. Hubby would say goodnight to me and then say 'Night Ryder' to my belly and laugh.

Every.Night.

GaGa,

Here we are, now only days away from you entering the world, and there's so much I want you to know. I want you to know what you mean to me (your Mummy), your Daddy and your bigger brother (Logan) and how much happiness you're going to bring to our lives.

Mummy and Daddy thought that we would never have you and in a way, you're our little miracle. Ever since we knew that you were on your way into this world, we've felt incredibly blessed and lucky and we've never taken it for granted. From the first moment we saw your little heart beating, we've been completely besotted and your brother has been bursting with excitement, asking almost daily when you'll be joining our family.

Mummy felt so strongly that you were a girl, so we were very surprised to see you growing a little willy. We even asked for a second opinion because Mummy didn't believe the radiographer - we had a girl's name all picked out, so imagine our surprise when we're thrown into thinking of slugs, snails and puppy dogs tails! It didn't take us very long to get our heads around the surprise and relish in the awesomeness of having another little man running about - Logan has brought us so much happiness and we know that you will do the same. Our house is never quiet and Daddy is always off doing boy-ish things and has such big dreams of building go-karts, kicking the footy and watching V8's with you both; the thought of you being anything other than a boy now doesn't seem right. Mummy can teach you all about how to treat a girl the right way, how to be respectful and loving - you'll only have to look at your Daddy to see how a real man behaves, he'll be the perfect role model in your life. If Daddy ever gives you up for a few minutes, Mummy can also teach you how to cook some good meals! Logan loves cooking with Mummy in the kitchen <3



At the end of the day, we just want you to be happy in your life. We will support you in everything you want to do; you can come to us with your problems and we will always help you. We will never judge your life choices and make you feel less than the amazing son that we know you will be. Anyone who makes you feel less then that will have your Daddy and big brother to deal with.


Every night, Daddy has been saying goodnight to you and giving you cuddles and every night Logan has kissed you goodnight and has asked when you're coming out of Mummy's tummy - you are already loved beyond any words. Mummy has felt all your kicks, from the small butterfly flutters, to the rib stabs that she gets now, so we know that there's not much room left and you're on your way out. Mummy has even felt your hiccups, so you need to learn to slow down when you eat (much like Daddy!).


The past 9 months, whilst they have been a challenge for Mummy, have been the most fulfilling months and we know that the best is yet to come. We've watched you grow from a tiny bubble into what we've been told is a whopper of a baby and we cannot wait to meet you.


From the moment you enter this world our little family of 4 will be complete and perfect <3



We love you so much,


Mummy and Daddy <3



Monday, April 22, 2013

Us Vs. The non-talking Toddler

As seen in SA Kids Parenting Magazine: May/June 2013





Our little man has found his voice. He has also found the floor, his limbs and his sense of desire. If he wants something he can’t have, the voice, the floor and his limbs culminate in a trifecta of disaster, otherwise known as a tantrum.

Tantrums are completely foreign to me – I remember my first exposure to this a month or so ago when he wanted some (more) tomato sauce. He dropped to the floor and scrambled around on his belly, then rolled onto his back, kicking and screaming.

I must admit that I laughed. I found it comical that someone could get so worked up over tomato sauce. Was it really worth the effort? I called my husband into the kitchen to observe. We giggled together and let him have his little dummy spit. And he got over it.

We learnt very quickly that this wasn’t a once off – tantrums form part of our day-to-day life now, almost as frequent as the nappy changes.

As a parent, I’m finding this phase of development a challenge. I’ve dealt with the sleepless nights and reflux/colic, and we’ve recently been exposed to the fun that comes with night terrors. But tantrums? This is a whole new realm of fun!

The language barrier is a real challenge for us. All we want to do is cuddle him and talk him through his frustration, but how on earth do you talk to a toddler that doesn’t understand a word you say? And conversely he can’t tell us what’s wrong –although he’s very good at pointing his finger and telling us to ‘look’. At everything.

When it comes to tantrums, we’ve had to accept it’s pointless trying to talk him through it and reason with him. He’s a toddler, he’s 19 months old and he just wants what he wants.

We know he won’t understand reason until his development is at a point where he can comprehend what we’re saying, so explaining/bargaining with him is lost. We just have to allow him to get his frustrations out, while standing our ground about what he can and can’t have.

He’s not being naughty – he’s expressing his frustrations in the only way he knows how at the moment. As parents we need to allow him that outlet, and focus on encouraging his language development. Love him, nurture him and have a secret giggle at his expense from time to time. And remember, this too shall pass.


Friday, April 12, 2013

The BIG Ouch... (what I wish I was warned of after baring children)


Remember how I mentioned a couple of months ago about some 'not so serious' back pain I was dealing with? Well, recently, things got serious...

The pain has fluctuated between feeling fabulous, to 'take me to the hospital, PRONTO!!' over the past couple of months, and last week it took a bit of a turn and became something I needed to take seriously. Well it was either that, or be riddled with pain so bad that I wasn't able to move. And that happened.

Last Wednesday I was at work, sitting at my desk and working through the niggling pain as I did most days. But the pain intensified and I couldn't work through it any longer - I left work to come home and continue my day from bed where I found comfort. I didn't make it home and instead detoured to the local hospital as the pain was growing as I was driving. I needed stronger pain relief, fast.

After waiting in the ER for about half an hour, I was seen by a doctor who wasn't aware of my issues, so I had to tell the story from the beginning (don't you hate that?!). He assessed me, asked me to bend forward, backward, etc and then proceeded to put pressure on the areas I was complaining about. And then it happened. I fainted. I went suddenly dizzy, covered in sweat and was carried to the bed to recover. My obs were checked, I was given some stronger pain relief, but seeing as I was already booked in for a CT scan the following day, I was sent home to follow through with my original plan.

On a side note: Pain relief was awesome!!

I felt great the next day. Still in pain, but not to the same extent as the previous day and was even joking to my girlfriend that my CT scan wouldn't show anything now as I felt 'fine'. That perhaps the drugs would hide whatever was going on and everything would come back normal... but it didn't.

If anything it came back a bit 'worse' than what I was expecting: 3 buldged discs, some osteoarthritis and a couple of other issues that meant that as a combination I had to take things seriously.

Fast forward to Sunday - I went for a walk in the morning and felt great throughout the day. Still tender and not willing to risk anything, but ok. I was getting Ryder undressed to hop into the bath in the afternoon, went to lift him up and MY GOODNESS!! The pain that shot up my back was SO intense I couldn't move. I was ushered to the bed, and the paramedics were called. I was in such an amount of pain that I couldn't move, I couldn't raise my legs...

I had an amazing Paramedic (thank you Bronwyn!) who stayed with me and helped me as much as she could so I didn't have to be admitted to hospital. After a plethora of drugs I was able to get off the bed and walk (and stay home!) and was put on bed rest - turns out I pinched a nerve, a pretty feisty nerve!

So here I am, 5-days post nerve pinch and I am back to feeling 'ok'. Not free of pain, but I have been able to lower my pain medication - and now await seeing a specialist to deal with the problem at hand.

To say I am scared is a bit of an understatement - when it comes to my back, I don't think there's anything else above that I'd rather not have in pain (easy to say that when I'm in the pain though, right?!). The thought of having a needle (steroid injections have been suggested, no thanks!), or surgery on my back just give me shivers. It's not something I want, ever. Other than when I am in the throws of labour... but even then after the experience I had with Ryder I don't think I'd go there again!

I just didn't realise how much my core has taken a beating since having children, and it's something we take for granted so much... as mothers we are constantly lifting/carrying/picking things up and more than likely not looking at HOW we do it. I've always been someone who's thought that whilst I've had a little bit of a 'spare tire', and a little bit more of me to love, that I've been relatively fit - I would never have thought that my core (including my pelvic floor) would be this bad, and it is.

So to all those yummy mummy's out there, PLEASE look after that precious pelvic floor. It is SO much more than bladder control!!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

The 'Zsa Zsa Zu'



Later this month my husband and I are celebrating our third Wedding Anniversary. It's not a milestone by any means, the time for us has gone relatively quickly, but it's still three years of our lives that is worth celebrating. It has really been three wonderful years. And there will be many more.

In my growth to being the adult I am today, I've made mistakes in life but it's made me aware of what is vital to me. And what's vital to me above all else is love. The love I have for my children, and the love I have for my husband. And it's also made me realise just how important it is (to me) to have that 'Zsa Zsa Zu' (thanks Sex and The City!) - it's something I had been mindful of before I met him, and something I make a conscious effort to maintain in our relationship.

Recently we had some professional photos taken, just because. For no other reason than wanting some photos of the two of us without a purpose. We weren't having a baby, we weren't getting married - we were just us. I wanted some photos that showed us who we are as a couple. No family shots, just a husband and a wife that are just as madly in love as the day we met... and we are.

What is 'us' is the beach. We LOVE the beach. And stupid jokes... 'Dad' jokes. The kind of jokes that you laugh because they're completely random, make very little sense, and they're not overly funny. And stupid faces and 'inside jokes' - where just a word, or a facial expression brings a cackle. That's us.

And these photos captured the just us perfectly. They captured that 'Zsa Zsa Zu'...










Photos were taken by Carol Lange from Wild Lilly Studio