An Open Letter to Teething

Dear Teething,

I am a nice person, but I despise you. You're evil.
You're painful and you're hurting my baby boy.

Up until this week, he has managed to cut 6 (SIX!) teeth without much of an issue. A bit of a grumble, a small appearance from the 'rosy cheeks' and some not so nice nappies... but this week you decided to knock him around while he was sick. That was plain cruel.

Doesn't he have enough teeth at the moment? Why couldn't it have waited a few days?
It's not like he doesn't have enough for his age, he's only 7-months after all. It's not like he is going to sit down with a T-bone for dinner tonight (much to Daddy's disappointment).

You're trying to give him fangs. Fangs?!
Pray tell, what on Earth does he need those for right now... opening beer bottles? Opening his baby food tins? Sucking blood, perhaps?

PLEASE back off. His temperature has only been at a normal level for 24-hours after being sky high for almost 3-days. Please take the hint and bugger off for just a little bit.

Having a clingy baby, whilst it is great for cuddles, has left the house in a bad state. I haven't been able to put him down for any more than 5 seconds. Grandma had to come over on Friday just so I could shower.

Mummy needs sleep. Daddy wants his side of the bed back. Brother wants the baby to stop crying all. the. time. And Baby just wants a break.

PLEASE, pretty please, either get it over with FAST, or postpone it for a bit. If you have doneso already, then thanks and please disregard.

Yours Sincerely,



Mummy. Who shalt not be messed with.

Ps. May you PLEASE restore his appetite for solid foods? Having a baby back on bottles almost full time isn't welcome either! Thanks!